Chapter 1640 Tolerance only zero times and countless times (4)

"I started to be unable to sleep all night. As soon as I closed my eyes, my mind was in a mess. All bad words hit my brain in this quiet night. All bad emotions will be infinitely amplified. I wanted to cry but couldn't cry. Maybe the tears were dry. I realized that I couldn't continue like this. The baby still needs someone to take care of me, so I went to see a doctor. The test result was moderate depression. The doctor prescribed some medicine to me, so I must keep a good mood and not be stimulated anymore, otherwise it will only get worse and worse."

"I dare not get too close to my baby, so I asked my aunt to help him take him. I was afraid that my unconscious behavior would hurt him. The doctor said that I would think about more happy things and try to relax myself. But I couldn't be happy at all in this house. So when he came back this evening, I finally mustered up the courage to file for divorce with him. As a result, he was furious and became more angry than ever before. The table was overturned by him. I stood there motionlessly, letting the glass scraps splash onto my calf and cut the skin. He could only hear him in an angry voice saying that he would never divorce even if he died."

"I filed for divorce twice afterwards. His reaction became more and more intense. The baby seemed to feel the depression and dull atmosphere at home. The smile on his face gradually disappeared and he no longer likes to laugh. Most of the time, it is the aunt who takes care of the baby, but what the baby wants is his father and mother. In this situation, we can't give him enough love."

"Since I mentioned the topic of divorce, he has been home only a handful of times. The baby hasn't seen him a few times almost a month. Sometimes when he misses his father, he stares at the family photo and doesn't speak. I feel so uncomfortable. I can't help but reflect again and again, what's wrong? Why has a good family become like this now? The family was obviously so happy when the baby was born..."

"I dare not mention divorce anymore. I can't bear to see the baby staring at the photos every day, not crying or making trouble. He is less than two years old. Why is he affected by his parents' relationship? I am really not a qualified mother. I can't even give the most basic things to my child. I live in self-blame every day and have to rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep at night..."

"A few days ago, the baby suddenly had a high fever in the middle of the night. It was raining heavily outside. With the lightning and thunder, I felt very scared when I touched the baby's hot forehead. I didn't care about so much and called him quickly. Then I hurriedly held the baby in the living room and waited anxiously. Soon he rushed back all over. The rain was too heavy. He leaned all the umbrella to my baby and I, but he was soaked, and his clothes could be wrung out of water. At that moment, I suddenly felt like I was protected by someone from the wind and rain..."

"The baby's cold comes and gets better quickly. After the injection, the fever will almost subside. But I feel a little depressed and can't lift it. I like to stick to my father during the illness. During this period, he will go home to see the baby every day. I obviously see that the baby has been happier recently."

"With the baby as a harmonic agent, the relationship between us has been slightly eased, but I know very clearly that I can never go back and it cannot be regarded as nothing has happened. I can compromise for the sake of the baby for the time being, but I really don't know when I can last..."

(End of this chapter)
Chapter completed!