Chapter 628: Live Well
The light emitted by the car lights turned the sign in front of the night into the brightness of the night, dotted with the night, but in the blink of an eye it became the rear. In the exchange between the front and the rear, I could not sense how long the 60-kilometer road was. My heart was burned into carbon in an uncontrollable anxiety. I wished I could follow the light of the car and reach the place I wanted to go in one second, and I was afraid that that place was a scene that could destroy me...
What is behind human nature? Is success necessary to be trampled on? ... Corresponding to the sinking of Mi Cai and I into hell, is Fang Yuan climbing into heaven with a group of people with ulterior motives?
A few hundred meters away, I finally saw a Suv parked in the emergency passage. The light of the flashing lights at the rear end seemed to me as a summoning, summoning me back to reality and telling me that she is safe, and reality is not so cruel that I have to give up this world...
My car was getting slower and slower, and finally stopped behind the red q7, turned on the double flash lights, but I didn't have the courage to get out of the car, just watching her standing by the guardrail of the highway, the scarf hanging on her chest, with her hair, fluttering, still, and fluttering in the cold wind, and she didn't take my arrival in my heart, her hands were always in her pocket, still, looking at the boundless distance wrapped in darkness... Her side face was filled with sorrow of calmness and fatigue.
I had to face her after all. I opened the car door and walked to her side with a light step. Thousands of words were blocked in my heart. I didn’t know how to speak to her. I knew she was in pain. Sometimes when the pain reached a certain level, I didn’t need to vent my tears. I just wanted to stand alone, and feel the distance between survival and death alone. The longer I stood, there was no obvious boundary between death and living... Life or death was only a matter of thought. I have experienced this feeling. When my heart died, I don’t care about death!
I lowered my head, I really wanted to talk...
She didn't look at me and finally asked, "Zhaoyang, have you heard the singing in the car?"
Only then did I notice that the not-so-large singing came from her car, which could even be ignored in the howling wind. Perhaps only she, who is quiet, can hear it...
I heard some melody clearly and said, "It's Chen Huixian's thousands of songs!"
"Well, people born in the 1960s and 1970s like this song..."
I don't know why she told me about this. She is not as heartbreaking as I imagined. I don't know what this song, which is played in her car, symbolizes and represents at this moment.
"Zhaoyang, go to the car and turn the volume up. When you come, I can't hear it clearly..."
I opened the car door and amplified the volume...but driven by extreme concern, I still said to her: "Let's go, let's go back to Suzhou. It's too unsafe to park the car here!"
Mi Cai finally looked at me and said, "This place is unsafe. Every time I pass by, I don't have the courage to take a look... But tonight, this place is the safest place... Dad left here, and standing here, he should be closest to his current world, right?"
Her words hurt me, and I dared not look at her face, and regarded escape as a redemption in helplessness!
"Zhaoyang, give me a cigarette..."
I didn't know what she was going to do, but I took out a cigarette and put it in her hand.
"Light it up..." Mi Cai put the cigarette between her fingers into her mouth, but it was so inconsistent. Her crystal clear appearance could not control the roughness of tobacco!
Mi Cai always knew which pocket my lighter was used to put in. She took out the lighter easily, lit a cigarette for herself, and then sat on the ground against the guardrail, listening to the song intently.
She couldn't smoke, so she just put the cigarette between her fingers. She didn't blame me, nor did she say anything related to tonight, but my mood was already pierced by her appearance. I would rather she tear me up and call me a fool!... I am indeed a fool! I can't tell the truth and the false, the good and evil of human nature, and it was me who pushed Mi Cai into the abyss with one hand.
When the smoke was about to reach the end of her fingertips, she finally put it in her mouth and took a sip, but she could not walk the smoke representing the illusion through her mouth with ease. So she coughed violently and tears fell down her eyes.
I took off the cigarette butt from her hand, snatched it out, and threw it under the guardrail. Then I looked at her and couldn't cry, nor could I admit my mistake, because I was so wrong that I didn't dare to forgive her.
But she didn't seem to hate me and was still trying to communicate with me. She told me that when Mi Zhongxin was so tired of work, she always liked to smoke while listening to the song "Thousands of Songs" that was popular in the early 1990s, so she had to learn from Mi Zhongxin's appearance.
I held my head in pain. I didn't dare to listen to her talk about the past and everything about Mi Zhongxin. The more she said, the more painful she felt, the more guilty she felt for not keeping Mi Zhongxin's entrustment.
"Zhaoyang, can you understand the lyrics in the song?"
Of course I know that this song, which was remembered by an era, expresses the beauty and sorrow of the past. I was so afraid that I would collapse. I hugged her tightly and said with a sob: "I was wrong...I was really wrong...I beg you not to punish me with leaving, and give me a chance to salvation..."
Mi Cai shook her head.
"If you have to leave... I will die in front of you. Anyway, it's a farewell forever. I don't care what method is used!!" I said incoherently. I could no longer bear the pain given to me by reality. I don't know how I would continue to survive after she left with guilt and unbearable pain... On the way I came, I had already thought about it. I was not afraid of death, but I was afraid that she would say goodbye to me with hatred.
In her silence, I became more and more panicked... Finally I couldn't bear it, and I pulled her arm and cried: "...I know I'm a useless man. I can't deserve you and hurt you... But I really didn't want to make things like this... Don't leave me, I still have hands, I have good limbs. No matter what I do, even if I do a hard worker, I will support you and will not let you suffer any more... Don't leave?...I beg you, please!"
I cried, and Mi Cai finally cried... After being together for so long, we have feelings, and she will not be able to bear to leave me as a waste, but what can such feelings stop this earth-shaking change?
If Mi Cai was still unwilling to be with Zhuomei, she would definitely get rid of my burden and compete with Mi Zhongde and Mi Lan for ownership of Zhuomei... This place will not be her end in Zhuomei, but will only be the beginning of another period of learning from her mistakes.
Mi Cai wiped my tears with the back of her hand and said with a sob: "Zhaoyang, don't cry, let alone die... We must all live a good life!"
Chapter completed!