My father once told me.

As a girl, you must look like a girl.

In the country where I was born, women are not allowed to show up in public. We must wear a hat, and there must be an extremely light veil under the hat.

I don’t know why this happened, but I have never seen my mother since I was a child. And when I was six years old, I also completed this sacrifice called [Shangli] in the ancestral temple where I worshiped my ancestors.

They jumped into the great god in front of me, and I was also amused by them, but when the hat with the gauze was worn over my head, I looked at the people in horror. I wanted to escape, but they pulled them and completed the "upper hat".

From that moment on, I never showed myself in my own face. Every girl of the same age I met thought it was so normal that I seemed a little abnormal.

I asked my always silent father why I couldn't wear such things... I have never seen my mother before.

I've only seen my father's face.

He was tall and strong, but he didn't say anything or answer me.

He hardly even talks to me.

Only my mother would stand quietly behind me, put her hand on my shoulder, and speak gently through her veil that she had been carrying for a lifetime.

Her voice may be the most beautiful sound of nature I have ever heard in my life.

But she rarely speaks.

What she said the most to me,

that is:

"Yinglan, be more behaved."

Even if I am naughty, she will only look at me who made a mistake...

Look at your most outstanding child.

Yinglan...be good.

She always tells me like this.

But I, who was young and ignorant, always felt that this sentence was thrusting my ears...

I really can't be a little bit obedient...

When I was six years old, I took off the veil of this hat countless times, and my mother never criticized me. But sometimes, she would silently pick up my veil and hold it in her hand, and then slowly put it in her hand. Her eyes were always so calm, carrying my youthful confusion and ignorance.

I was wondering why she didn't let me wear that hat veil? My aunt is always proud of her hat with jade beads. My mother has the simplest and most beautiful hat in the world. In my opinion, my aunt's show-off is always understandable? She always cares about it, and always shows my uncle's love for her.

I don't even know why my famous father didn't buy my mother such a hat.

That hat? It also needs to be priceless? That hat? It also needs to be inlaid with gold and jade? Jade inlaid with jade? Jade is worn with luxurious night pearls.

It seems like that? For my mother? This woman who can always keep silent, a chance to be proud in front of her aunt? Let her straighten her back.

My mother's waist is always straight? When she stands in front of others, the usual hats that people in the city can buy are also very flat.

She is not ashamed to meet people, she always holds her head up and her chest up? She walks generously and appropriately. I think that is her necessary demeanor as my father, a city lord's wife.

However, when I saw the wives of other city lords always had a bloated figure, loud scolding, and gold rings full of hands, I think they wanted to wear their ugly feet that they never had to walk down the ground and put on unforgettable... golden, shiny, but wasteful... Rich Rings.

I followed my mother to walk underground. She always held my little hands with her rough hands, letting me walk quietly beside her. Her body always exuded a very fragrant smell. Even if it was me, I would still be willing to follow her, slowly walk in the countryside, in the fields, and on the road, the breeze blew my veil, and I picked her. I thought of such a gentle wind, and she was willing to touch it, but she didn't.

My mother did not embrace such a gentle wind. She stood in the fields and looked at me gently. I knew that her eyes were looking at me. I took off my veil, I took off my hat, I put my face, touched the wind, touched the outside world.

I think this wind is something I have never seen or thought about, invisible, intangible, and lack of something that can be felt.

This is a very strange thing. It's as strange as my father.

At that time, I boldly guessed my father that he didn't love my mother.

I learned the word love from the grandma who helped me wash my clothes.

She said: "The youngest son in the next house is about to be overjoyed, but everyone knows that if he doesn't love this precious lady, he will always have a fight."

I asked, "Is the youngest son in the next house Li Xiuyuan?"

"Miss, don't say it was said by me, the old woman. You didn't hear anything."

"Brother Xiuyuan, it's so good. I even gave me some food."

I don’t know what the grandma who is washing clothes is afraid of, but in my world, there is a word that suddenly appears.

like.

But I can't mention it, because except for the veiled people around me, there are all older grandmas.

They also wear veils of old-fashioned hats, mine has never seen their faces before.

I've seen my father's face.

It was a dark face that was always running around outside.

I really can't imagine what my mother would look like. Because I have never seen it before and have never had the chance to see it.

Until she slowly fell into the loess mound, she covered the cover that symbolized that I would never see her again. The cover was long and square, burying the veil on her head, together with her life.

I once imagined that a gust of wind came to her and lifted her veil. Even for a second, I would be willing to stare at her.

Not just because she is my mother, although this reason is enough...

I have never seen her face before, and even my longing has become empty.

I will still dream of her, her slender figure, her rough hands, and her bright eyes under her veil.

I can't see her smiling, I can't see her crying, I can't see her love for me.

I don't know how to recall her...I can't calm myself down.

Even if I came to her grave again, I could only stare at her name silently and stare at her name in a daze.

She originally had a nice name.

my mother.

【Long...Moon...Sad】

I love,

my mother.

When I understood what love was... I became more and more unconscious. Thinking of my mother, I really wanted to tell her...I love her.

Her daughter...even the naughty daughter who made her angry and forced her to bow her head to others to apologize...

I love her so much...

I love her very much...I want to tell her that I love her...

But we can no longer say we love her...

Because she has been away from me for many years...

She never taught me to love the word.

It doesn't seem to be like saying it in her mouth...

But I have grown up and have to be... I love her... so deeply...
Chapter completed!