Everyone has a different understanding of how to view friendship in prison. Xiangbei has always had a sense of intuition that only when he is with Li Weizhen can he remove the burden in his heart and listen quietly to the other party telling his own stories and his own experiences.

It's really strange that men also have this subtle feeling. Is it because I haven't met the right man before? Xiangbei feels that this feeling is inexplicable.

In fact, the answer is simple. Destiny makes people meet and summarize your life in this way that is almost practiced.

Xiangbei has an intuition. Every time he sees Li Weizhen, it is like looking in a mirror. How does he view Li Weizhen's words, behaviors, styles of behavior, and how others view him Xiangbei. There are such magical things and such magical experiences in the world.

This is the origin of the subtle feeling between the two people - they are mirroring each other, and when they look at each other, they are actually looking at themselves. Only by looking at this way can you see yourself more clearly and thoroughly.

In the vast world, all living beings are really hard to find such a mirror.

However, even if the two of them mirror each other, they have differences in time and space. After all, there are ages and years, and there are orders of imprisonment. To be more precise, Li Weizhen saw his past from Xiangbei, and Xiangbei saw his future from Li Weizhen.

After experiencing two suicides, Xiangbei's determination to die is no longer so firm. Of course, the thought of thinking gradually fades away, but the idea of ​​finding life has not yet appeared. He can't find a reason to continue living. Even though the last conversation with Luo Fangyi had penetrated into his soul, he did not make him feel how beautiful life would be.

When he thought of Luo Fangyi, he thought of many things again.

What impressed him the most was not only that she retraces her own path and enters Beijiang Evening News, nor that her wife Zhou Xuecen held the materials that defended herself before her death, but also the last sentence Luo Fangyi said, "You are my first teacher to enter society. I have always been proud of you. If all the reasons cannot change your decision, then you just treat it for me and don't give up, okay?"

This sentence was question mark, obviously, she hoped to hear Xiangbei's answer. However, when Xiangbei heard this sentence, he turned around and was about to leave. In an instant, he stopped again, shook his whole body slightly, and left the reception room without looking back.

Xiangbei no longer has a deep impression of what the complete sentence said. However, in the past two days, this sentence has been playing in his mind, bringing him new thoughts. Perhaps, one day, if you look at the outside world again, your thoughts will change in new ways.

Without the errands of working in the factory and editing and typing prison newspapers, Xiangbei suddenly felt bored. The only thing he could do was read some books in the room, which were full of positive energy, which made Xiangbei really difficult to digest. Fortunately, Song Qingzheng knew Xiangbei's temper and specially arranged for Li Weizhen to stop the work at hand and accompany Xiangbei in the dormitory during the day.

"Look at your complexion over the past two days." Li Weizhen poured a glass of water and placed it beside Xiangbei's bed.

All the inmates went out to work, and the only two of them were left in the house.

Xiangbei stood up respectfully and took the cup with both hands. After all, Li Wei was really older than him and everyone was a scholar. At the very least, politeness and respect must be given.

Turn your wrist gently to the north, and the wound will still feel a little painful, but it is no longer a serious problem.

"This hand is far less flexible than before, I guess I can't do heavy work in the future."

"You don't have to rely on physical strength to make a living. You are an educated person. Even if you don't go out and don't do your old job, you won't starve to death and you won't be tired." Li Weizhen said. In this dormitory, Xiangbei was the only person he respected, so he always seemed to be a conversation between a teacher when he was a child. This reminded Xiangbei of the holy traces of Confucius in his childhood textbooks. Zi said that there must be my teacher when he walks with three people...

"I can't do it anymore, that's a sad thing. To be honest, I'm confused about the future."

Li Weizhen looked at him with a smile. Confusion was much better than having no future. It seems that this person's mentality has improved a lot, and his companionship these days has not been in vain.

"You can go out in one or two years, right? You are so young, and your future journey is still long. What can you be so unhappy? Look at me, I have been in prison for so many years, and I still want to go out one day, although I am afraid that I can't adapt to life outside." Li Weizhen said.

"I don't have as good mentality as you, I have nothing left, and I have no expectations for the outside world."

"Do you know, seeing you now, I think of myself before."

"Why do you say that? You used to be the same?"

"Because I have thought about suicide more than once." Li Weizhen said, "Three years ago, my boy fell off the scaffolding while working on a construction site and was unconscious for more than half a year. The family was busy treating him and suing him because the developer and contractor didn't pay any compensation. The family had no money to see a doctor, so they took him back to the house to raise him. Later... Later... the boy was gone. After my wife came to the prison to tell me the news, I scolded her. Later... she committed suicide by taking medicine."

This is the first time Xiangbei heard Li Weizhen talk about these things. Unexpectedly, his experience was so similar to his own. This middle-aged man who looked calm and did not cause any trouble on weekdays had such an experience. He lost his son in middle age and had a broken family. Is there anything more painful than this?

Li Weizhen, "The pesticide my wife drinks is called paraquat. That kind of medicine is very powerful. If you drink it in your stomach, even if Hua Tuo is reborn, he will not be able to save it. He can only wait for death."

"Parumquat? I heard of this medicine." Xiangbei once learned about this pesticide in an interview. It is known as "water of death" and is a biodestructive herbicide. People will suffer a lot after drinking it. They cannot die immediately, but they cannot be saved. Many people jokingly say that this medicine gives you time to regret, but does not give you a chance to survive.

Li Weizhen "I scolded my wife at that time. You incompetent old lady, we kids were all delayed by you. Why don't you die? Return my baby to me! Then I heard her crying and covered her face to cry. I felt that the scolding was not happy enough, and even the prison guard couldn't pull it away. Later, when she died, I felt that this was not done well. I was too beastly. How could she not love children? If there was a way, she would delay the treatment of children? It was said that my wife and children were the only motivation for me to stay here until now. What was the result? The motivation was gone."

Xiangbei "Well, I understand you. I have also experienced this feeling. However, you should not scold her. She is your relative. If your child dies, you are her only support. As a result, she will definitely not be able to stand it if you scold her like this."

Li Weizhen "You are right. I was blinded by the demon in my heart and did that stupid thing. You know, since I was in prison, I have almost never felt at ease. Even every day when I woke up and saw this pale wall, the only thought in my heart was to die. I know that for so many years in prison, I have become a useless person and a burden. Even if I was out of prison, I couldn't do anything. Moreover, the child is gone and my wife is gone. What's the point of living? So, during that time, I tried to commit suicide several times."

"Maybe, it's better to be alive than to die." Xiang Beishen felt it and sighed, "How many times have you died?"

"Three times," Li Weizhen smiled, "I've been more than you. Once I stole a metal piece from the factory, and I used that to cut my wrist. You can't say that thing is so easy to use. Although it's a little blunt than a shaving blade, it makes it stronger, but it can still be cut. Another time, I hit my head against the wall, and my head was covered, and I couldn't die. I was upset, I was really unfair, and I didn't even die according to my wishes. I've lived a very failed life."

"I thought so too. Now I feel that if God doesn't accept us, there is naturally a reason to let us live." Xiangbei sighed.

"I always felt that life was too unfair to me, and all the tragedies were arranged on me. But then I suddenly realized that I wanted to live!"

"Wake up? I don't have the courage to live, I'm afraid of living, it's too tiring to live."

"I thought so too. Once, my mother came to visit and said something to me. He said that after my wife passed away, the family packed up her belongings and accidentally found 481.50 cents under her pillow. I remember this number very clearly, and I am afraid I will never forget it in my life. It was saved by her who picked up a month of waste to treat the child. Until she died, the money was folded neatly and wrapped in paper under the pillow. She never wanted to spend it. My mother handed me the money. It was a lot of more than 400 yuan in her hand, a thick stack of one cent, two cents, one cent, five cents,

There are still many scoundrels. This old lady has always been a bad habit in her life and loves to save money. She is reluctant to eat or wear it. She leaves it to me and her children and I," said this man who seemed strong, shed tears. "At that moment, I was full of regret. I knew that they lived a hard and tiring life, and that responsibility should have been taken on. I owe them too much for years in prison. I didn't expect that my wife and children would have so many unfinished things before they died. They still have unfinished wishes and unfinished concerns in this world. So, I can't just die like this. I want to leave here alive and fulfill those wishes for them."

When Xiangbei heard Li Weizhen say these words, his heart trembled. He suddenly remembered the look of Nuoyi looking at him in the hospital. He always felt a sense of regret in his eyes. He remembered Zhou Xuecen when he met him in prison for the last time. Although his life was so unbearable, she still wanted to win the lawsuit. He also remembered Zhou Xuecen running around to save himself before his death. These people did not give up their relatives and their desire to live until their death. Why is this?

Xiangbei has never understood it. Now he understands it for love.

Xiangbei did not expect that his experience was so similar to this originally strange man. What was Nuo Yi’s wish? What was Zhou Xuecen’s wish? Xiangbei was silent and thought.

Maybe it’s their unfulfilled wish to survive by themselves.

"After listening to my mother's words, I seemed to wake up suddenly. For so many years, I have been in a daze. Life is worse than death, but these words have saved me like life-saving medicine," Li Weizhen quietly wiped away her tears. "This is the first time I have shed tears in so many years. From the moment I was reborn, I told myself that I cannot be a weak person. Only strength and courage are allowed, and tears are not allowed in my world, and there is no sigh. Because people like me are too easy to die, and the difficulty is how to make myself live, so I must have a heart that is a hundred times stronger than others!"

Li Weizhen's words shocked Xiangbei. He didn't expect that this man with a scholarly affair could say such firm words. His experience was not much better than himself, but he did not fall down in the face of the heavy blow of life.

"I believe you will fulfill their wishes and stick to them." Xiangbei said.

"Persist in it? I don't know when I can last." Li Weizhen smiled bitterly, "I am 50 years old this year. I'm afraid I will stay here for 4 years. When I go out, half of my body is buried in the soil. People live here often think about the people and things that are alive. When my wife and children die, I hope my mother can live well, stay up until I go out, and give him a care for his old age. I just don't know if I can still do that day."

"4 years, it's fast, and it's over in a flash." Xiangbei comforted him.

"Actually... I have another reason to go out alive. I chose a cemetery and built a tombstone for the mother and mother. There is no way, my family is too poor. I didn't enjoy my happiness before my lifetime, and I can't let them suffer after my death."

He was unable to enjoy his life and could not suffer after his death? Li Weizhen's words pointed out Xiangbei's confused heart. Isn't this also his wish? He thought of Zhou Xuecen and Nuoyi who were still in the ashes corridor of the funeral home. He felt like two lonely ghosts, with no home and no home.

Li Weizhen's words kept rolling in Xiangbei's mind, leaving him sleeping all night.

When a person has the determination to face death but still survives in the world, he is no longer born for himself, but for those loves that he cannot give up... This is true for Zhou Xuechen at that time, and for Xiangbei now.

According to legend, the phoenix is ​​the messenger of happiness in the world. Every five hundred years, it has to bear all the unhappiness accumulated in the world, devote itself to burning itself in the raging fire, and exchange life and beauty for peace and happiness in the world. Only after the body has suffered great pain and reincarnation can they have a better body and be reborn.

This disaster is like a phoenix rebirth in the north, and is reborn from the fire.
Chapter completed!