want to love but dare not love
Today, the country has finally stabilized, but it is about to usher in a new round of parting.
Wu Yajing looked at her son and asked herself that she was not a competent mother, but at this time, everything she said seemed pretentious.
Even though the mother and son sit together, even if they have a lot of words in their hearts to say to each other, they are the same as in the past, and there is no word that can be said at all.
Not used to heart-to-heart talk or warm words, it is not just Chu Xuanchi, but even Wu Yajing.
Meng Cangyun, who was standing beside him, couldn't stand it anymore and suddenly laughed: "The mother and son sit together like strangers, it's simply out of the blue. It's better to go out for a walk and don't smear our eyes."
Wu Yajing and Chu Xuanchi looked slightly embarrassed. They knew that she wanted to give them a space to live independently. They nodded slightly and really went out and walked around.
"Mother, why did you marry your father before?" Walking under the moonlight and unable to find a more suitable opening remark, Chu Xuanchi suddenly asked inadvertently.
Wu Yajing smiled, looked up at Tianji, his eyes were a little deep and distant: "Ruo Niang said she had never liked your father, and marrying him was just to make a comeback with that little power. Will you feel uncomfortable?"
"It's consistent with what Erchen thought." His voice was really light. What's more to say if it's uncomfortable or not, it's been decades.
But I didn't expect that my mother's loyalty to the Meng royal family would be so loyal. In fact, except for Bu Jinghua, who had resentment towards the Meng royal family because of Meng Qinian's affairs, the others were more loyal than the other.
Sometimes, even he could hardly imagine where such loyalty came from. After all, if it weren't for Qiqi, he would have retired after saving his mother.
Xuanguo, such a big country, is just a newly established country. His brothers and people are still waiting for him, but for the sake of Qiqi, he is willing to leave everything behind and accompany him here.
If there was no one who loved him here, how could he do so much? Therefore, the loyalty of his mother and several generals is indeed worthy of his admiration, because he suspected that he could not even do it himself.
It is unreasonable for others to do things for themselves.
Wu Yajing didn't know what he was thinking, maybe even if he knew it, he didn't take it seriously. It's great now. She is different from her son. No matter what, the Dream Clan is her home.
"If my mother doesn't go back to Zichuan with you in the future, how can you stay?" she asked suddenly.
Chu Xuanchi paused slightly, looked at Tianji again, and suddenly laughed a little desolately: "I knew for a long time that I would not go back with my son."
Wu Yajing stopped and looked up at his outstanding son.
From the moment she gave birth to him, she knew that he was a talent and would definitely become a talent in the future, but she did not expect that she would never go back when he was still very young.
After being trapped in Zhu Xiandao for so many years, she actually thought that her son might have been no longer alive.
The backyard of the palace was full of crises. How could a prince without his mother's blessing survive? She had not even had time to pave any way for him.
But he survived, not only survived, but even lived so well.
Thinking of the suffering he suffered over the past decade while growing up, even though he was as tough as her, the corners of his eyes were wet in an instant.
"Son, can you hug you?" His coldness must not be born, it must be because he has lost his biological mother since he was a child, so he has completely become cold in various persecutions.
But now, even if she wants to hurt her son, she doesn't know where it hurts.
That white hair can always hurt her heart.
Chu Xuanchi just looked at her and said nothing.
A hug... it seemed that it was too unsuitable for her and him. They were not enthusiastic people, nor did they have too much warmth. The hug... it seemed too embarrassing.
But when Chu Xuanchi was still at a loss, Wu Yajing had already pulled him over and hugged him hard.
The moment he was hugged, the tall man seemed to have lost all the cold and hard sides in an instant. He bent his legs and knelt down at her and hugged her waist hard.
Since he became sensible, except for Qiqi, no woman has ever hugged him, he has no desire for any care from the so-called elders, because behind every care is a purpose.
But tonight, after being carried by my mother, the sour feeling surged in an instant.
He felt very sad and wronged. Over the years, his mother had never loved him well. Every year, he could only go to Concubine Jin to have a free meal because Concubine Jin would wrap the dumplings with her own hands, and she had her full love for the fifth brother.
Even if the love is not given to him, at least if there is love in it, he can still get some lust for the fifth emperor's brother and eat a bite of lovely meal.
Although the master has always loved him very much, she never said a word of warmth to him. Since she was a child, she has been very strict with him. If she does not do well, she will face ruthless responsibilities.
The wooden stick hit him one by one, often making him vomit blood. He knew that the master was not feeling well, but the burden on her shoulder was too heavy and she could not be kind to herself.
The master has always believed that a kind mother would defeat her son. If she is kind, he will definitely not be able to achieve anything. He knows that he should not be greedy for the love of other mothers, and he also knows that he is different from others.
He did not have his mother's protection. On the contrary, he had to fulfill his wishes for his mother, and even find ways to strengthen his strength and turn around to save her.
He never complained about the heavy load on his shoulders, but he was always a person with all kinds of emotions and desires. He could be strong, indifferent, and even arrogant in front of others. However, when he was alone, he would be afraid and uneasy.
He doesn't like living alone. He is afraid of loneliness. He also wants someone to care for him. He also hopes that someone can protect him and care for him.
Until now, he relived the feeling of being held in his mother's arms, and then he tasted the pity and care of his elders. This was something that even Qiqi could not give him. No one except his own mother could give him.
Wu Yajing caressed his white hair, and looked at the frosty and snow-like hair wrapped around his fingertips, and tears were covered in his eyes.
It’s not that she doesn’t love him, she feels in her heart, but she doesn’t know how to express it. She just asked if she could hug him, and she has already wiped out all her courage. If her son refuses, from then on, she doesn’t think she will have the courage to ask the second question again.
In order not to give him any chance to refuse, she could only hug him first, but she didn't expect that her son also missed her so much.
It’s all because the mother and son have the same personality. They , and they are afraid of each other’s rejection.
Fortunately, this child has such a good wife, otherwise how much loneliness and pain he will have to suffer in this life?
The hand fell on his head and rubbed it gently. The mother and son were kneeling and the other stood there. They didn't know how long they had been hugging them in the wind, but no one wanted to let go.
The wind blew softly, blowing the picture with a little desolate atmosphere, but it was so warm that people could hardly help crying for it.
I don’t know how long it took, but when the wet breath in my eyes dissipated, Chu Xuanchi took a deep breath and said softly: “Mom, I want to eat the dumplings you made.”
The hand that fell on his head paused, and after a moment, Wu Yajing's soft voice slowly sounded: "Then you have to let go of your mother first, so that you can do it for you. If you hold it so tightly, you are not afraid of holding your mother's legs off."
Chu Xuanchi suddenly remembered that the power of his holding her legs was indeed too heavy. He was just too excited, and when he was excited, he didn't know the importance of it.
When he suddenly let her go and looked up at her, Wu Yajing's eyes were full of smiles, but his legs were indeed very sore.
This child is born with divine power, but fortunately she is not weak either, otherwise she would really not be able to stand.
"Let's go, mom is going to make dumplings for you." He stood up, she bent over and patted the dust on his clothes, then held his hand and walked towards the kitchen.
Soon, the lights in the kitchen became bright and everything inside was fresh, flour, eggs, meat and vegetables.
Chu Xuanchi never expected that his biological mother had been a general and a queen. She was used to holding weapons with her hands, but after she arrived at the kitchen, she suddenly turned into a pair of skilled hands and picked up the kitchen knife. Her kung fu was no less than others.
Chop minced meat, make dumpling stuffing, make flour, and make dumpling skins. Everything is easy to make. No matter how you look, you don’t look like a person who has been fighting outside for many years, but now you look more like a good woman.
"What? Are you stunned?" Even if Wu Yajing didn't look back, he knew what his son was thinking. "Who made your mother unlucky? The master who wants to serve him is so clever?"
When I was on Zhuxian Island, I was often embarrassed by His Majesty's mouth.
After finally getting the dumpling skins ready, she looked back at him and said, "Go and wash your hands quickly and make dumpling fillings with your mother."
Chu Xuanchi seemed very well-behaved tonight. Hearing this, he quickly turned around, went outside to dig a bucket of well water, washed his hands before coming in again, and indeed wrapped it up with her.
However, he was not as good as his hands and feet. Looking at the things he made from his own mother, he suddenly became a little dissatisfied: "The dumplings that Concubine Jin made for the fifth emperor's brother are changeable in image, and I don't know how cute it is."
Wu Yajing paused, immediately turned his head and glared at him, and said unhappily: "Do you dislike your mother's handicrafts that are not as good as Bu Jinghua?"
Chu Xuanchi looked at her and was very serious, not as if he was joking at all: "I just disliked my mother's work as hard as Concubine Jin."
Even when he said this, he felt really wronged.
Wu Yajing's heart was sad again. No matter how old the child grows or how powerful he is outside, he is always just a child in front of his own mother.
In the past, how much did this child cry and how much pain he tasted?
Chapter completed!