Chapter 902 It's all bullshit
Last year, Zhao Bing was in Ezhou and failed to preside over the grand dynasty meeting. According to the logic, it should be the first grand dynasty meeting for the Song Dynasty to return to Jiangnan. However, in his eyes, he changed the place on the basis of daily dynasty meetings and added some procedures. As the venue for the celebration, Daqing Hall was once the main hall of Deshou Palace. Although it was slightly smaller than the Nangong, it was much larger than the Qiongzhou Palace. Otherwise, it would be difficult to set up such a big show.
The Daqing Palace was previously used as a Taoist temple and was just renovated in the first half of this year. In fact, the internal facilities have not been in place compared to the original one, and it is more like a bald man wearing a wig. This is the result of the addition of Zhao Bing's wedding and the rule of law again. The smell of fresh wood, lime and paint are everywhere.
Because of the continuous happy events, not only were officials above the fifth rank in Beijing, but also officials above the local roads, government officials and imperial guards above the imperial guards, all the corners of the hall were filled with the added procedures this year. One of the procedures added was that Lu Xiufu read out the imperial edict of the empress dowager, saying that the emperor had become an adult, loyal, righteous, benevolent, and filial, and had always been virtuous. He removed the curtain and returned to the emperor, and since then he no longer involved in the political affairs in the court; the other was that the empress accepted the congratulations from all the ministers, indicating that there was a heroine in the dynasty.
Last year, the young emperor was cultivated due to illness, and a series of events occurred in the court. Although they were all over, the young emperor not only re-introduced the court, but also officially took over the authority from then on. He has no bonds since then, so it still makes people feel uneasy. Looking at the young emperor on the throne, everyone felt even more nervous. It has been a year or two for him to take charge of the dynasty. Many people in the palace can say that they have watched him grow up, but this year they all feel a little abnormal.
In previous years, the young emperors always smiled, greeted the ministers, celebrated the New Year together, and drank and ate meat together. But this year, I don’t know if it was because the empress dowager had less confidence in the throne, or if there was a queen around me, or to show her majesty after taking power. The young emperor was a little restrained and always pursed his mouth tightly, as if he was afraid that the newly inlaid dentures would fall out. The queen was not serious about attending the dynasty for the first time, and the two were like Bodhisattvas in the temple.
The emperor always had a drooping face, and the ministers did not dare to laugh. They all listened to the right prime minister Wen Tianxiang reading another speech composed of ancient and gorgeous words and clichés, which made the court officials who got up early were drowsy, but no one dared to yawn in front of the emperor, so they could only press on.
‘Puff…’ After all, people are not props, and there is inevitably a small mistake in such a big occasion. Just when Wen Tianxiang was reading the climax, a long and restrained fart sound suddenly came. It was obvious that someone was so worried that he wanted to let it go but didn’t dare to let it go. Under the severity suppression, he was unable to hold it back.
"Well... who is so rude and speaks randomly?" Wen Tianxiang frowned and asked sternly with a dry cough.
"Report to the right prime minister, the lower official's accent seemed to be from the Jiangsu and Zhejiang areas, and it was as gentle as the silk strings of Songjiang!" Wen Tianxiang asked, and the ministers were all energetic and looked left and right to find the target. At this time, someone came out to report.
"How could Deputy Envoy Zhao Shumi say that he has a Jiangsu-Zhejiang accent? It is clearly from Huguang area, and the needles are hidden in the cotton, which sounds soft and soft, but the meaning is sharp." As soon as Zhao Mengjin finished speaking, Zhao Qiao, the Minister of War, came out and said dissatisfied.
"Nonsense, this is not the accent of Sichuan and Shu, it is clearly the authentic Minnan sound." Deng Wenyuan, the Minister of Justice, said.
"Shangshu Deng's words are wrong, they are definitely from the riverside, just like the gurgling sound of a small river, where is the sound of waves near the sea in Fujian!" Zhang Zizhen stepped forward and waved his hand.
"No, this is the accent of Jiangxi. It is neither facing the sea nor the river, but the barbarian voice in the mountains." Grand Secretary Qi Yaqing came out to point out the right way.
"Your Majesty..." Zhao Bing was concentrating on watching the fun when he suddenly heard Wu Xi beside him calling him softly.
"What's wrong?" Zhao Bing turned his face and said in confusion.
"Your Majesty, they are talking nonsense in the hall. Why don't your Majesty stop it?" Wu Xi asked in confusion.
"However I judged, I didn't hear the accent. Does the queen know that, and she can judge them as much as possible!" Zhao Bing spread his hands and said.
"Your Majesty, it's clearly... who can hear it!" Wu Xi's face turned red when she heard it, obviously knowing that the emperor was making jokes about him and said angrily.
"Haha, the queen thought what the matter was in the hall was, so it was like this, and she could tell you some big truths!" Zhao Bing smiled and said.
"Will this court act so recklessly? Isn't it a waste of state affairs?" Wu Xi was stunned when he heard this, and said in confusion.
"This is politics. Every day I have to do is listen to their nonsense, attack each other, and make a look of interest. The memorials reviewed after the court are mostly long and tasteless nonsense. It would be good if there were only a few words to mention some serious matters, and a reply must be made based on this. Otherwise, some ministers will advise me to be diligent in government affairs." Zhao Bing said with a wry smile.
"In this way, Your Majesty has worked very hard." Wu Xi glanced at her husband with sympathy.
"It's hard to say, but after a long time, you can find some fun in it. You see, they seem to be arguing about a lot of things, but in fact they have other meanings. They are protecting their own people, and at the same time they are intended to attack their opponents." Zhao Bing smiled.
"Oh, your Majesty already knows who it is... who it is!" Wu Xi replied in surprise.
"It's almost the same as you!" Zhao Bing said with a chuckling.
"Your Majesty can actually hear it?" Wu Xi said in even more surprise. There were two or three hundred civil and military ministers standing in the hall, and the closest ministers they sat at were three meters away. You can tell who was fart. How good the ears were!
"Being an emperor must be clear-headed and able to hear the sounds in every corner, otherwise you won't know if you are sold!" Zhao Bing said mysteriously.
"Your Majesty, you have to argue so much, when will you start giving a banquet?" Wu Xi was a little anxious. After all, she participated in many of the follow-up work of this grand ceremony and made arrangements. This little episode had already disrupted her plan. The more the noise below, the more and more than ten people had participated.
"Ahem..." Zhao Bing coughed a few times, and suddenly asked with a smile, "Dutong Dong, where is your hometown?"
"Your Majesty, I am from Dong'an County, Quanzhou, Fujian." Hearing the little emperor's words, Your Highness immediately calmed down, and Dong Yicheng immediately went out and bowed to salute.
"Oh, I'm also considered a native of southern Fujian!" Zhao Bing nodded and said.
"Yes, Quanzhou is located in southern Fujian." Dong Yicheng said again.
"Shangshu Deng is really good at hearing. He actually heard that it is Minnan. Doctor Feng is not bad, he can narrow the scope to Quanzhou, and Zhang Shizhong and Judge Liu are good." Zhao Bing pointed at several people and said.
"I'm welcome..." The few people who were named were praised and deserved gratitude, but after a long time of hard work, I didn't know what to say.
"Since you guys understand what Tong Dutong said, please tell me what he said so as to solve your doubts!" Zhao Bing turned a blind eye to their embarrassment and continued to smile.
"I am from Shu and I don't know the Minnan language!" Deng Wenyuan saw the little emperor looking at him, but if he admits, he will understand the nonsense. If he doesn't say it, he is like he just repentant, so he can only answer with his teeth.
"Oh, where are you guys?" Zhao Bing raised his chin and asked the others.
"I... I can't do it either!" The other people could only climb along Deng Wenyuan's pole and bow their heads and salute.
"Haha, what did you say again? Don't you understand that you are not allowed to speak casually in the hall?" Zhao Bing turned to Dong Yicheng and shouted sternly.
"Your Majesty, my subordinates are wronged. I have been standing here and listening to the right minister's reading, never speaking a word." Dong Yicheng shouted unjustly.
"Then why do everyone hear you make strange noises?" Zhao Bing still questioned.
"Your Majesty, I really didn't say anything. I just drank a few glasses of cold wine last night. I couldn't bear it and fart, but I had no other intentions!" Dong Yicheng said with a little embarrassed expression, but he lived on the boat all year round, and his face was dark and red, but he couldn't see any embarrassment.
"It seems that our Song Dynasty has hope of restoring the country. It's great that even a single fart can cause so many nonsense!" Zhao Bing turned and sneered.
"Your Majesty, I... I did not intend to maintain the order of the court and the dignity of your Majesty!" Qi Yaqing thought for a while and said.
"A single fart can make the court disordered. Is my face lost? Now that the Yuan Dynasty occupied my country and enslaved my people, isn't it the same as riding on my neck to poop? What do you think? Do you also want to argue with the real gold!" Zhao Bing asked with a smile before tapping.
"This...this, I don't know!" Qi Yaqing was asked and said with a flushed face when he was asked.
"What about you?" Zhao Bing asked the rest of the people and others again.
"Your Majesty, don't be upset. Today's dynasty will be a little boring. Everyone is just a joke to relieve your boredom!" Zhao Mengjin bowed upwards.
"Is that so? Are you unhappy for me to rule today!" Zhao Bing asked back.
"Your Majesty is such a bad word. I was so happy last night that I didn't sleep all night. I just hoped that the sky would quickly attend the court meeting. Congratulations to Your Majesty!" Zhao Mengjin bowed up and said with a smile.
"Oh, what about the others?" Zhao Bing asked again.
"I am congratulating Your Majesty on his official duties, long live, long live, long live!" Seeing His Majesty's question, Lu Xiufu quickly turned around and bowed to him first.
"Congratulations to Your Majesty, long live, long live, long live!" Seeing this, the ministers knelt down one after another and worshiped them with great gifts.
"All ministers are exempted from courtesy, and they are calm!" Zhao Bing smiled and raised his hand, "Today is the New Year's Day, and the whole country celebrates together. I congratulate you with you and give you a banquet!"
"Thank you, long live, long live, long live!" The ministers politely said again.
Zhao Bing stopped the dispute with one sentence, skipped the proactive and lengthy procedure, and went directly to the last procedure - the gift of the banquet. The civil and military officials in the court were tossed for a long time, and finally had a lively meal, singing and dancing. But just as people who have eaten a state banquet know that this kind of banquet is actually just a specification, and those who can eat this meal are not ordinary people, and it is also a great honor. Therefore, the meal in the Daqing Hall is not delicious, but some people will try their best to squeeze in. Even if they can't be in the hall, they just eat cold rice in the corridor and feel that they are very favored.
What worries the old ministers the most is that the young emperor has always been frugal and does not like leftovers. One of the main dishes at the imperial banquet is meat, that is, pork, beef and mutton used for sacrifices on New Year's Eve. However, the meat used for sacrifices is not salt. The deacons cut into small pieces with knives and distributed to the ministers. This tasteless white meat tastes bitter, but it cannot be ignored.
Some ministers have made some changes in private after eating too many banquets. They put their handkerchiefs in the five-spice meat soup at home in advance to cook them. At that time, they take them out to wipe their mouths while eating them, so that the meat will taste and will not be rude or disrespectful. However, most of the ministers know that the little emperor is smart, so they have neither such experience nor such courage, so they can only swallow them down with their teeth. Therefore, they all "can be so light from their mouths."
"Your Majesty, can you eat this?" Wu Xi was obviously advised by the 'erily master' and knew how to taste the meat, but he found that the little emperor could eat the white meat on the plate as if nothing had happened, and he would not even frown.
"It's very fragrant, what can't be eaten?" Zhao Bing picked up a piece of it and ate it. The oil oozed out as he chewed it, and he seemed to be puzzled and authentic.
"Your Majesty eat slowly, and you will be indecent in front of all the ministers!" Seeing the little emperor's eating behavior and looking at the empty plates on the table, Wu Xi frowned.
"Indecent? It seems that the queen has never been hungry, otherwise she would not have said such words!" Zhao Bing said with a chuckling.
"Hungry? Your Majesty still has time to eat without enough food?" Wu Xi asked in surprise.
"Does the queen really not know, or did she forget after entering the palace gate?" Zhao Bing looked at Wu Xi and said with a smile.
"This..." The little emperor's smile made Wu Xi's heart stung. Could it be that in order to win the lead in the talent show, he specially asked people to inquire about the hobbies and habits of the empress dowager and the little emperor? Or is it true that the little emperor just said, his ears and eyes were clear and could hear and hear the movements in all corners.
"It is indeed indecent to the queen's disobedience!" Zhao Bing saw that he was knocked out of his mind, and raised his glass to drink with the ministers while whispering.
"Your Majesty, I did it on purpose, please forgive me!" Wu Xi realized that his actions were long under the attention of the little emperor, so he simply admitted it directly and said politely.
"It's okay, but you should do less sneaky things, and forgive me is nonsense. The queen should take care of herself and not be smart. There is no airtight wall in the world, and I don't want to do anything harmful!" Zhao Bing drank wine and put the cup in front of Wu Xi with a smile. In the eyes of the courtiers, the young emperor seemed to be very harmonious.
Chapter completed!