"Hey? You said you are also the leader of the exorcist world, right? You are also one of the best masters in the world, right? You said you don't have any solutions now, isn't it embarrassing?" Zhao Yi said to Yang Kun and his wife beside him.

After hearing this, Yang Kun just smiled and said nothing.

How could Yang Yan accept Zhao Yi's words? He was about to get angry but was persuaded by Yang Kun.

"I think you are anxious, but not particularly anxious. Is there any way you can do that?" Yang Kun said to Zhao Yi.

"Yes, yes, but they are late. I haven't come yet. What can I do?" Zhao Yi shrugged and said.

But he was not very anxious, because he knew that no matter how late those people came, they would arrive before Li Kan demolished his home, so he was a little calmer in his anxiety.

Anyway, Li Kan was trapped in the suppression talisman, and there was still some time to get out of trouble, so Zhao Yi simply introduced Yang Kun and his wife to Li Kan's parents.

"Aunt Hui, Uncle Li, let me introduce you to you. These two are Boss Yang Kunyang, and Yang Lingling's father. This one is...uh? Boss Yang, your girlfriend?" Zhao Yi said with some uncertainty when introducing Yang Yan.

After hearing this, Yang Kun held Yang Yan's hand and said, "It's my wife."

After hearing this, Yang Yan looked at Yang Kun with tenderness in his eyes.

Zhao Yi saw it and felt that the middle-aged couple had sprinkled with dog food.

So he changed the subject and said, "Haha, we are all family, let's get to know each other."

Only then did Li Kan's parents realize that these two people who came to help their son were Li Kan's father-in-law and mother-in-law, and in-laws.

But at this time, Li Kan's parents were still interested in recognizing their relatives? They just asked them to save Li Kan.

People often compare marriage to a "siege". Indeed, many times, although home is warm, if you are always trapped in it, you will inevitably feel bound.

Especially now, many parents meticulously care for their "only Miaomiao" and drive away since childhood. They call to ask about their well-being every day when they go to college. When they get married, they always ask about their every move. Many wives look closely at their husbands after getting married, check their mobile phones, computers, and have to accompany them throughout the party every day. There are also many husbands who are worried about their wives going out alone, and they can control the movements by one phone in 10 minutes... These families "circle" each other tightly and lose their freedom.

It is true that today's social environment is complex and there are too many temptations. People are more vigilant and starting point for protecting their families. However, parents are too concerned about it, making it difficult for children to form a healthy personality, and they are easily "living their parents" when they grow up; being too ties between husband and wife will make each other tired of family life and eventually lose trust and attachment to each other.

Therefore, family members need to give each other some freedom. Creating an atmosphere of freedom, relaxation and independence can inspire people's gratitude and self-discipline, help cultivate a sense of family responsibility and attachment to the family.

Give freedom does not mean letting go or indifference, but a kind of more clever love and care. Therefore, for children, we should focus on the big and letting go of the small, silently observe their behavior, and guide them to develop healthily. As American psychologist Leno Sconaz said in his book "Letting Up Children", teach the children the social skills they need, and then give them a growth process of playing, venturing, experiencing failure and winning success. Couples should be properly away from each other and attract each other. Do not disturb the other's life rules, so that they have their own circle of friends, independent social and gathering space. You can also use these independent time and opportunities to do something you like to enhance your personal charm. For example, find a romantic restaurant and feel it in advance, and then give your family a surprise.

If a kind destiny is not protecting the baby and not allowing him to feel the fear of leaving the mother, then the baby will feel extremely fear at the moment of birth. However, the baby is not much different from before he was born; he still cannot identify objects, and cannot realize his existence and the existence of the world outside his body. He only needs warmth and food, but he will not distinguish between warmth and food, and food.

For babies, mothers are warmth, food, and a happy stage for babies to feel satisfied and safe. This stage is based on the concept of Freud, the narcissism stage. The surrounding reality, people and objects, and whatever can cause satisfaction or disappointment within the baby's body, will have meaning to them.

The baby can only realize his internal requirements; only the external world is related to his needs is realistic, and the good or bad of the external world that has nothing to do with his requirements is meaningless.

If the child continues to grow and develop, he begins to have the ability to accept the true nature of things. The mother's ** is no longer the only source of food. Finally, he can distinguish his thirst and the food that can feed his stomach from his mother. He begins to know that other objects have their own and have nothing to do with him. At this stage, the child learns to call the names of objects and learns how to treat these objects; he begins to understand that fire is hot, hot, wood is hard, and heavy, and paper is light and can be torn apart. He also begins to learn to deal with people: if he sees him eating, his mother smiles; if he crys, his mother picks him up; if he digests well, his mother praises him.

All these experiences condense and complement each other into an experience: that is, I am loved. I am loved because I am the child of a mother. I am loved because I am isolated and helpless. I am loved because I am cute and can win the love of others. In short, I am loved because I have the capital to be loved - more precisely, I am loved because I am me. The experience of maternal love is a negative experience. I can win the love of my mother by doing nothing, because my mother is unconditional, I just need to be the child of my mother. Maternal love is a blessing, peace, and I don’t need to win it, nor do I have to work hard for it. But unconditional maternal love has its flawed side. This love is not only not required to be exchanged for hard work, but also cannot be won at all. If there is maternal love, there is blessing; without maternal love, life will become empty - but I do not have the ability to evoke this maternal love.

The main problem for most children aged 8 to 10 is to be loved and unconditionally loved. Children under 8 years old will not love, and their reaction to being loved is gratitude and happiness. When children develop at this stage, a new factor will appear - a new feeling, that is, to awaken love through their own efforts. The first time the child feels to give something to his mother (or father) - write a poem, draw a picture or do something else. In his life, the concept of love is from "being loved" to "love others" for the first time and becomes "creative". But from the initial stage of love to the maturity of love, it will last for many years.

Children entering the teenage years will eventually overcome their self-centered stage, and others will no longer be a tool to realize their personal wishes. Others’ requirements are equally important as their own requirements—in fact, perhaps more important. Give them more to satisfy themselves and make themselves happy. Love is more important than being loved. By loving him, he is freed from his loneliness caused by narcissism. He begins to experience caring for others and unity with others. In addition, he can also feel the power of love arousing love. He no longer depends on accepting love and in order to win love, he must make himself weak, isolated, sick or obedient in order to win love. Innocent, child-style love follows the following principles: "I love because I am loved by others." The principle of mature love is: "I am loved because I love." No

Mature and childish love is "I love you because I need you", and mature love is "I need you because I love you." What is closely related to the development of the ability of love is the development of the object of love. The first few months and the first few years after a person is born are the closest relationship with his mother. This relationship begins before a person is born, that is, when a pregnant woman and the fetus are both one and two bodies. Birth changes this situation in a sense, but it is by no means as much as it seems. Babies living outside the mother's body still rely on their mothers almost completely. Later, the children begin to learn to walk, speak, and understand the world. At this time, the relationship with the mother loses part of the importance of being closely related, and the relationship with the father begins to become important.

In order to understand this change, we must understand the fundamental difference between maternal love and fatherly love. We have already talked about maternal love above. Maternal love is unconditional in nature. Motherhood loves newborns not because the child fulfills her special wishes and conforms to her imagination, but because it is the child she gave birth to. Unconditional maternal love is not only a child, but also the deepest desire of each of us. From another perspective, the love exchanged through hard work often makes people suspicious. People will think: Maybe I

It does not bring happiness to the person who should love me, and may cause trouble - in short, people are afraid that this love will disappear. In addition, the love that is hard-working for often makes people feel painfully: I am loved because I am happy with the other person, not out of my own will - I am not loved, but needed. Given this situation, it is not surprising that all of us, both children and adults, firmly retain the desire for maternal love.

The relationship with father is completely different. Mother is our hometown, nature, the earth and the ocean. But father does not reflect any natural origin. In the first few years, the child has almost no connection with his father, and at this stage the role of father is almost incomparable to mothers. Although father does not represent the natural world, it represents the other extreme of human existence: that is, the world of thought, the world of laws, order and discipline created by man. Fathers are the ones who educate children and point out the way to the world to children.

A closely related to the role of father is another role related to social and economic development. With the emergence of private ownership and the inheritance of property by a son, the father is particularly interested in the person who will inherit his property in the future. The father always chooses the son he thinks is the most suitable as the heir, that is, the son who is most similar to him and therefore the most worthy of his favor. Father's love is conditional love, and the principle of father's love is: "I love you because you meet my requirements, because you perform your duties, because you are like me." Just like unconditional

Like maternal love, conditioned fatherly love has its positive side and negative side. The negative side is that fatherly love must be won through hard work. If you live up to your father’s expectations, you will lose fatherly love. The essence of fatherly love is: obedience is the greatest morality, disobedience is the greatest sin, and those who disobey will be punished by losing fatherly love. The positive side of fatherly love is also very important. Because fatherly love is conditional, I can win this love through my own efforts. Unlike maternal love, fatherly love can be controlled by my control and efforts.

Parents’ attitude towards their children meets their requirements. Babies need unconditional love and care from their mothers, both physically and psychologically. Children need the authority and guidance of their fathers at the age of six. The role of a mother is to give the child a sense of security in life, while the father’s task is to guide the child to face up to all the difficulties he will encounter in the future. A good mother will not prevent the child from growing up and will not encourage the child to ask for help. Mothers should believe in life, not be anxious and spread her emotions to their children. She should hope that the child will be independent and eventually leave herself. Father’s love should be dominated by certain principles and put forward certain requirements. It should be tolerant, patient, not aggressive and domineering. Father’s love should make the child feel more and more confident in his own strength and ability, and finally make the child his own master, thus being able to break away from the father’s authority.

A mature person can eventually reach the height of being both his own mother and his own father. He develops the conscience of a mother and develops the conscience of a father. The mother's conscience said to him: "No sin or any sin will make you lose my love, my life for you, and your blessings for happiness." The father's conscience said: "If you do something wrong, you have to bear the consequences; the most important thing is that you must change yourself so that you can get my love." A mature person separates himself from the external image of his mother and father, but establishes these two shapes in his heart

Elephant. Contrary to Freud's "superego" theory, people do not establish these two images by combining their father and mother, but build their mother's conscience on their own ability to love and their father's conscience on their own reason and judgment. A mature person lives with both the conscience of his mother and the conscience of his father, although the two seem to be contradictory. If a person only develops his father's conscience, he will become harsh and inhumane; if he only has the conscience of his mother, he will be in danger of losing his self-judgment and hindering the development of himself and others.

People develop from close relationships with their mothers to close relationships with their fathers, and finally reach synthesis. This is the basis for the health of human souls and maturity. ("The Art of Love")
Chapter completed!