Yan Yan left behind the milk tea that Qin Yan gave her and threw the bouquet to me. Mi Cai and I were both wise people. We saw a signal in Yan Yan. This signal told us that when Qin Yan really came to Suzhou again three days later, Yan Yan would probably treat him to a meal alone, or give him a name for the cup of milk tea that he had not yet had a drink.

It was already dark, and the taxi was like a set machine, skillfully walking through this broken city cut by the viaduct. We vaguely heard the bell tower behind us ringing at 10 o'clock. So I asked Mi Cai, who was holding a bouquet beside me: "Believe it or not, Yan Yan must have parked the car somewhere at this time, drinking the cup of milk tea that Qin Yan gave her..."

"Believe it! Didn't Qin Yan say that it can only taste the original taste of milk tea before ten o'clock. He is a very professional barista and should be able to calculate it very accurately."

I nodded. Since Yan Yan chose to take this cup of milk tea, she would definitely finish it before 10 o'clock. I just don't know what she was feeling when she drank it, and will she really feel warm and happy? ... I hope that Qin Yan really has the opportunity to repair the trauma in her heart that is difficult to heal. As for the future, whether Qin Yan's family can accept her divorced woman, I don't want to think about it again, because I hate artificially making love a very simple thing extremely complicated!

Furthermore, I have confidence in Yan Yan. Even if she is a divorced woman, no one has the confidence to reject her... She is an excellent example of women, but Fang Yuan did not cherish her... I really don't know whether Fang Yuan, who was full of sin, would regret it when Yan Yan married and had children with another man, would this sinful Fang Yuan regret it? Will he turn around clearly and look at his twisted soul?

The car was still walking and stopping with traffic lights in the set route. The desertedness in the middle of the night seemed to lock the intertwined neon lights into the car, illuminating the colorful clothes of Mi Cai and me. Mi Cai and I gradually became tired in this colorful scene. She leaned in my arms. I hugged her shoulders and gradually looked at the city in front of me, which was deep because of the night, but I didn't know what posture would it look down on us if it had a soul? Will it mock the youth we built here and disappear into the absurdity of the years?

.....

Back at my residence, we were tired, and after just washing up, we lay on the bed. Soon I lost consciousness and fell asleep... I started to dream in my sleep again. I dreamed of Jing Xiaosi and Xia Fanye that I saw tonight. They were very fulfilled in my dream. I then dreamed of Qin Yan and Yan Yan. They were also married. Yan Yan became Qin Yan's good wife and helped him manage the family's property in an orderly manner. After marriage, she became pregnant and gave birth to a girl for Qin Yan...

The space in my dream is getting wider and wider, and the time span is getting bigger and bigger. All the people who are known as my friends appear in the dream one after another. I transformed into an engineer to contribute to their lives. I am so busy. This busyness makes me feel tired in my sleep, so tired that I put my future behind my head. So I didn’t dream of Mi Cai, Jian Wei, or even Le Yao. I only saw a woman wearing a transparent raincoat walking around the fountain in the square in the rain, and I followed her back and walked around the circle after circle... I finally woke up in fatigue! I heard the wind blowing and rain falling on the window, as if the breathing sounds...

I wanted to drink water, so I half-kneeled on the bed and turned on the night light at the head of the bed, but unexpectedly found that Mi Cai was awake. I yawned and asked, "Why are you not sleeping yet?"

"I have insomnia!"

The first time I heard the word insomnia speak from Mi Cai, she turned out that she had always maintained a good mentality and would also suffer from insomnia. So she forgot to pour a glass of water and looked at her cheeks, as if she wanted to find the cause of insomnia in her expression.

"Why are you half kneeling to look at me?"

I came to my senses and felt my mouth dry again, so I got out of bed and said to her, "I'll go and have a glass of water first and come back to chat with you."

......

I sat on the sofa, drinking water while thinking about some thoughts. I thought that the reason why Mi Cai suffered from insomnia was because her mother Yan Zhuomei returned to China tomorrow. She was not ready to face Yan Zhuomei. When Yan Zhuomei was the person, my mood quickly fell down. Subconsciously, I took out a cigarette from the cigarette box on the coffee table and lit it. When the ash of the cigarette fell all over the floor, the light of the lamp blurred me... In this kind of confusion, I tried desperately to pursue a simplicity! In this kind of simplicity, Yan Zhuomei would not make things difficult for us. The wedding was held as scheduled, the coffee shop was running smoothly, and we quickly gained a foothold in Xuzhou...

A glass of water was quickly finished, and a cigarette was left with only the cigarette butts sleeping in the ashtray. I finally went to the bathroom to rinse my mouth... and returned to the room again, leaned against the pillow and asked Mi Cai, who was completely sleepless, "What kind of thought can make you think of insomnia?"

"Do you really want to listen?"

"Of course, I want to hear all your thoughts, I'm afraid you'll hide it in your heart and don't want to tell me."

After a little silence, Mi Cai said: "Yan Zhuomei never does unprepared things. My stay in China to get married has touched her bottom line. She may dig out what you have done before and every emotional experience, and then leave me with nothing to say...I hate facing these!"

A feeling of infarction suddenly blocked me and felt a little lacking in oxygen. I also hated the wrong things I did in the past, and I didn’t like these wrong things being tossed and turned on the chopping board and chopped... So, I repeated the silence in silence!

I finally said to Mi Cai: "I know I am not worthy of you, but... we have been together for so long, and I can no longer leave you!"

"Don't say that, I've already forgiven your past..."

"I understand what you mean, and I can understand your hatred, because everything in the past is like a series of unhealed wounds being savagely torn open, sprinkling salt water in it... I really want you to know that my butterfly with wings torn off, and I want to fly around you, the flower..."

Mi Cai looked at me and asked for a long time: "Tell me, are your pair of wings still left with Jian Wei?"

"Let's stop talking about Jian Wei, okay?...You also heard her say today. It won't be long before she will completely disappear from our sight!"

"I heard that I can only say that she is a self-disciplined woman... But this does not mean that she doesn't love you anymore, and you don't care about her anymore... I have a strong premonition that she is a time bomb buried between us..."

I interrupted her: "Don't just think so much just because it's night. Can you?... She's leaving, she's leaving, she's really leaving!... Let's not go over and over again and again. I hate this kind of toss and over again...!"

"Why are you so excited? ...What signal is your subconscious mind sending to me?"

I argued: "My excitement is because I don't want to be misunderstood by you, not because she is leaving..."

"Last night, when she said she wanted to immigrate abroad, I clearly saw your lost expression, and the look you looked at her hard after she got off the car... Zhaoyang, these micro-expressions and body language cannot deceive people... I am not afraid that Jian Wei still loves you, but what I fear most is that you still love her, but deceive yourself unwilling to admit it... In this way, I will feel that I am a sinner, my appearance, ruining everything between you!"

I gasped, my brain heated up and cold... It took me a long time to say, "I want to know what signal you are sending to me now?... When we came back, it was still fine, why did Jian Wei say that she wanted to immigrate abroad, which became the fuse of our quarrel?... This made me confused?... Or do you think I don't love you?... But will I be a man who is willing to marry a woman I don't love?"

“The calmness of the night reminds you of some details that you didn’t notice before…!”

"You think of it now... Then tell me, what do you want to do?" I asked tremblingly. I never dreamed that on the last night when I was about to face Yan Zhuomei, she and I would have such a quarrel... This quarrel is not a normal quarrel between couples, but a quarrel that will cause cracks in our relationship! This makes me feel palpitations, infarctions, and helpless!

Mi Cai finally replied: "I don't know what I want to do, and I don't know who else can rely on for my life besides you..."

"If you have already identified me, why do you have to think so much about it in one go?"

"This is the nature of a woman, isn't it?...We are afraid that we cannot get a sense of security from the man we love deeply, and I am no exception... After taking everything off, I am just a woman who is sensitive and a little nervous. I hope so that we don't have Jian Wei, Le Yao, and there are no women who all the time to seduce you!"

I smiled helplessly and choked in my smile: "Why, why are there so many suspicions between us... Why have we experienced so much together and still unable to erase the stains in life, but it is more like a wrinkled piece of waste paper?...Does we have to bed and dream in this life, lying on the window, looking at others' happiness, but we continue to suspicion and continue to turn life into a war?"

Mi Cai said nothing...

I choked and said, "I am just a fool. I don't have the talent of Xia Fanye and Luo Ben, I don't have the strategic plan of Fang Yuan and Xiang Chen, nor the prominent family background of Weiran and Cao Jinfei... I will only live in my own spiritual world in this life, intoxicated and unrealistic pursuit of those who do not belong to me...including you!... I am not worthy of you, I am not worthy of you... I can only listen to those outside comments in my heart, and then grind it into my stomach... Maybe our encounter is the beginning of a wrong thing. Why should I possess you? Why?"

Mi Cai looked at me with tears in her eyes. She finally couldn't hold back. She cried out and hugged me tightly, and said whimperingly: "I'm sorry... Sorry, Zhaoyang, this is my fault... I shouldn't suspect you so much!... You treat me very well, really good, that's enough... I love you!... Today is me making unreasonable trouble! Don't question yourself because of my wrong questioning... In my eyes, you are the best! Other people's words are rumors, so you must not take them to heart!"

I looked at her and hugged her again. We cried together, reviewed together, and waited for dawn together... We really paid too much for this relationship, and no one wanted to lose it so easily... However, I could not figure out whether this extreme concern was our burden until the dawn was really dawn!

It was still raining outside the window, but the sky had already had some bright colors. None of Micai and I fell asleep anymore. We just hugged each other and lay on the bed, and then looked for limited comfort in this extremely limited space.

I finally said to her, "What do you want to eat? I will buy it and make it for you."

“Is the lean meat porridge okay?”

"Well, you sleep for a while, I'll go to the supermarket to buy eggs and shredded pork..."

"I'll get up with you." Mi Cai said as she had already put on her clothes before me.

......

In the bathroom, Micai connected some hot water in the water heater to help me wash my hair. She washed it lightly and seriously. After washing, she used a hair dryer to dry it bit by bit, and then used hair wax to make a hairstyle that suits me the most, which made me look very energetic...

This morning, after we had done our personal hygiene, I went to the supermarket. She stayed at home to clean the house, and the time we met Yan Zhuomei was getting closer and closer... At this moment, we were just waiting for a call to notify us. This notice may be after we finished breakfast, or in the afternoon...

After buying the ingredients for making skin egg lean meat porridge, I tied my apron and worked in the kitchen. After controlling the heat, I looked at the rain outside the window with a little dazed, splashing water after water on the windowsill... My emotions were still not rescued from the quarrel last night. I asked myself seriously... Will Micai and I really grow old as we imagined?

I don't seem to be so confident? Because class differences will be a lingering shadow between us, every time we quarrel, I am so unconfident, so scared, afraid of losing, afraid that she felt that living with me for the rest of her life was a stupid decision... After such repeated incidents, I really felt a little tired!

And I have also experienced these feelings in Jian Wei... I was thinking a lot. If one day Mi Cai also talked about the word "breakup" with me, would I also give her a completely unburdened answer like I did when I replied to Jian Wei?

I dare not think about it anymore... because I dare not imagine my life without her writing. I will be boring, boring, miss it very much, and hard to endure...

................

This is a 4400-word chapter... I haven't written a quarrel for a long time. After writing it smoothly, I combined the two chapters into one chapter and wrote them...

I think such a plot is the most realistic manifestation. When there are huge class differences between the two, there will definitely be disputes over some things that are about to be faced. This is the true manifestation of human nature. Not breaking out is a kind of detachment from reality.
Chapter completed!