This night, Mi Cai and I were not able to get our household registration book back, but we drove away with different emotions. Walking through this city where we couldn't see any sadness, I saw a pair of smiling and silent couples on the street surrounded by neon lights. This smile made me illusion that no one had ever done anything wrong, or that no one had done it right at all... And love is like this in the repeated right and wrong, making the couple fall into the trap, intertwined in intoxication and anesthesia...

I didn't seem to say anything, because I always knew what kind of life I wanted to live and how to deal with my relationship with Jian Wei, but I had to say something, so I finally said to her: "I did go to see Jian Wei that day... I comforted her, but as a friend, there was such a big change in her, and I really couldn't rest assured that her personality was too competitive. Such a gap would probably make her go to extremes!"

Mi Cai didn't look at me, she replied without any emotion: "I'm driving, don't affect my attention. You can talk slowly when you get home later."

I nodded and continued to look at the buildings outside the car window. I couldn't tell whether they were moving or our cars were moving. Life was so numb. I dare not say that I was at ease, nor did I dare say that I was open and honest! Some just go with the flow, and I have no choice. It seems that I have missed nothing, but I actually got nothing!

......

After a while, we returned to the old house, and we hadn't eaten yet, I asked her again, "Are we going to prepare dinner first, or do you have a fight with me first?"

Mi Cai was still very calm: "Prepare supper first."

"Then I'll go to the restaurant below to order food, there's nothing left at home!"

"You go...I'll clean up the house."

I nodded and said deeply: "Sometimes it's like this, and I don't have time to be praised after the blood of my ideals. In the end, I'm perfunctory and the struggle is the depravity!"

Mi Cai finally looked at me...

"Actually, I'm just talking nonsense...I'll go down first!"

......

When I came to the restaurant downstairs that I visited countless times, I smelled the spicy smell coming from the kitchen, lit a cigarette, and waited patiently. I felt that I really didn’t need to explain anything to Mi Cai. If she was angry, then beat me up. Even if I beat me into a pig’s head, I remember to keep up with me as good as before. Our relationship really can’t withstand the twists and turns, nor can we stain it!

Half an hour later, I returned to the old house with the dinner I bought. Mi Cai just cleaned up the room where she was sleeping, but there were two room where she was sleeping. She seemed to be planning to separate from me tonight, and told me with practical actions that she had a grudge in her heart.

I asked knowingly, "Why do you clean up two rooms?"

"You can also divide the supper you bought into two and go back to your room to eat."

"Why?"

"Because you are very dissatisfied!"

I fell into silence because there was only so much explanation. I had already told her in the car. If I said more, it was a deliberate shirking responsibility.

Mi Cai frowned and looked at me and asked, "Did I leave you with nothing to say?"

"I have nothing to say, because I confessed everything I should confess...!"

"So it depends on me if you can be forgiven, right?...You are feeling relaxed!"

"I dare not... I'm still nervous. If you don't feel venting your hatred, you can beat me. Just beat me whatever you want. Don't bring the current anger to the future, because I never want to break up with you again."

This time, Mi Cai was silent. After a long time, he asked me: "Zhaoyang, everyone will encounter unexpected problems at different stages of life. Do you just plan to think about her for the rest of your life? As long as she encounters an accident and falls into a trough, you must comfort her? Or is there no one around her who can do something except you?...I think she needs your comfort, which can only prove that she still has an old love for you... As your fiancée, do you think I can accept it? Accept your spirit of cheating on me at any time!"

"I can't accept it...but I really can't watch her so much... Before doing this, I also experienced a very painful struggle."

"But you went anyway."

"I've gone, but I don't target my feelings, I just give her care like a friend... If I do, I will have no choice but to comfort her!"

"What a duty..." Mi Cai began to choke when she said this, she forced herself to hold back the tears in her eyes and prevented it from falling.

"I'm not wrong. What I'm wrong is just hiding you with luck... Actually, it's not hiring you. After I came back that day, I was going to tell you, but I heard on the phone that you were in a bad mood, so I didn't say it. Later, I forgot about this because in my opinion, Jian Wei and I were very calm, just like an old friend. At least I never thought about rekindling my old love with her, and we have all returned to Xuzhou, so how can we have the conditions to do something with her?...I really hope you don't deliberately amplify this matter with negative emotions."

Mi Cai finally cried: "I didn't deliberately magnify... I was just more afraid of losing!... Zhaoyang, why can't you give me an absolute sense of security in this matter? I was very panicked and sad. Do you know?...Do you know?"

I seem to be a man who always makes the woman I love cry. I am full of guilt, but I have nothing to say. Because I am afraid of losing my words, it stimulates her sensitive and fragile. I stretched out my hand to hug her and told her not to cry anymore. Her tears were like steel needles inserted into my heart, making me full of pain!

Mi Cai struggled to escape. She looked at me angrily with tears in her eyes, and pinched my arms with both hands... But I know her, but I don't think it's a punishment. On the contrary, she forgives me again. If she gives up, she will not do anything, say, and will not protect me in front of Mi Zhongde's group of people. But this kind of anger that has to forgive her will make her feel tired... Once, twice, three times, it will gradually approach her bottom line, and then she will never be willing to forgive again!

I can clearly recognize this. I finally tried my best to hold her in my arms and promised: "Mi Cai, this thing will really not happen next time. The person I love now is you. What I expect is to live with you for the rest of my life. Please believe me..."

Mi Cai finally stopped fighting, but she still cried and said, "I have believed you many times... But I have a premonition that your personality will eventually harm us..."

"No, definitely not. In the future, I will only stay quietly with you in Xuzhou to get married and have children, and will never repeat these things that hurt you again. If you believe me for the last time, if you commit it again, all the consequences will be my own fault!"

................
Chapter completed!