After I got home, I lay in the bed in a dizzy state, and then fell asleep very much, but I dreamed of Mi Cai again. I dreamed that she left me in a way that was without saying goodbye, so I began to look for her all over the world, always thinking that there would be her figure at the next dock, the next station, and the next airport, and then asked her to give me an explanation. The dream gave me all the disappointment, which made me wake up from disappointment.

I pulled the lamp at the head of the bed and lit a cigarette to calm my emotions. I was as unwilling to equate dreams with reality as ever. I just felt that I hadn't seen Mi Cai for too long, and I was too tired and depressed recently, which led to this dream full of despair, which occupied my sleep.

In fact, Mi Cai will not leave me. Even if she can give up me, she can't give up Zhuomei. So, although there is a hint of sorrow, it is at least a reliance in my heart. Sometimes, I really don't mind that my love is too humble. As long as she is by my side and will say that I like me Zhaoyang, I feel it is a kind of happiness.

There were footsteps outside the door, and then I heard the sound of the door being opened. I knew it was Father Ban and Mom who came back because of their pace, one was calm and the other was very fast. I had been listening for decades, so of course I could tell it clearly.

I quickly pressed the cigarette I had not finished smoking in my hand and put on my clothes. I didn't want my mother, who was angry, to see how lazy I looked now.

Half of my clothes were worn, my mother opened the door of my house and immediately took a step back due to the smell of smoke in the house. Her words were filled with anger: "Zhaoyang, what do you want me to say to you... Can we parents still see you now?... With a son like you, we did not accumulate virtue in our previous life, and we took care of you and suffered for you in this life!"

Daddy Ban pushed her and said, "You are so serious..."

I lowered my head and remained silent, and I also knew that since I saw me in the morning, she had begun to accumulate a lot of negative emotions in her heart, and Li Xiaoyun's wedding even aroused her long-standing dissatisfaction.

My mother sobbed: "Lao Zhao, tell me, isn't this a sin?... Today, seeing Xiao Yun get married under my nose, my heart is like a knife, but I can't help but bless this good girl... If this disobedient son, if he cared about our parents' feelings, Xiao Yun would have been the daughter-in-law of our Lao Zhao family!"

I endured it without saying a word...

Ban Dad persuaded again: "Marriage is about fate. Zhaoyang and Xiao Yun are really not destined, so it's useless to force it."

"I'm afraid that this disobedient person will regret it in the future... How can there be a second girl like Xiao Yun?" My mother became more and more angry as she spoke, and then she smashed her handbag at me. Maybe she had forgotten that the bag was filled with eggs she bought in the morning, so my body and the bed were covered with sticky liquid full of fishy smell. This mistake immediately stimulated my emotions and shouted: "Why do you always think about organizing my marriage?...You can't think about how difficult it is for me to live!...I tell you that for so many years, I have lived a coward and unhappy life, because I have been dumped, because nothing is what I want..."

My mother's emotions were completely ignited: "Is it your dad and I? It's not what you want... Now that you have strong wings and have the ability, then don't recognize us as parents."

I shouted at the father again: "Dad, is she like the words she said to her elders?...Is she so comfortable and satisfied with me if she doesn't take this family as the leader!!"

Dad Ban looked at me disappointedly, shook his head and said, "Zhaoyang, I won't protect you this time... The most terrible thing about people is to regard other people's care as an attack on themselves, let alone this person is the mother who gave birth to you."

At this moment, I seemed to have been abandoned by the whole world. I couldn't understand my parents, just as they couldn't understand me... It turns out that behind human nature is really white clouds and gloomy dogs. Even the most reliable family affection is so impermanent. I live in this world, what else can I rely on?

I was about to collapse in pain!......I really didn't expect that Li Xiaoyun's wedding would become a disaster for me!

Dad Ban took out a car key from his briefcase and said to me: "This is the car you bought for me. Take it back. We don't need you to compensate us in this way."

I am almost suffocating, why is my life full of unnecessary?...Li Xiaoyun doesn't need my gift, Le Yao doesn't need me to attend her wedding, and her parents don't need my filial piety to them...What did I do wrong in Zhaoyang? Why do my close relatives and friends all isolated me from their world? They really won't stand from my perspective and see what kind of pain I am suffering?

It turns out that for so many years, I have been walking alone! Walking on a road where there will never be an answer.

I finally wiped off the sticky liquid on my face, took my briefcase from the head of the bed, then took out the bank card originally prepared for the girl, placed it on the cabinet at the head of the bed, and said to them: "It is not easy for you to raise me for so many years. I am just a disobedient and I have nothing to repay. There is 600,000 yuan in this card. Whether you make compensation or filial piety, please accept it... I don't need to stay in this family anymore, so I can save you so much trouble!"

Her voice was heartbreaking: "Zhaoyang, you are too uneasy and too immature!"

"Don't force me anymore... I really don't know how to do or say it, to be mature and satisfy you!" I said as I picked up my briefcase and slammed the door and left. My reason was completely collapsed at this moment!

.........

This New Year of the Gregorian calendar, I was walking alone on the streets, watching others’ reunion, watching others’ love, and wanting to die in pain! So I stood by the moat of this city, smoking cigarettes one by one.

Facing the wind, my tears fell uncontrollably. I have never been as lonely as I am now. I need someone to understand it... I whimpered and took out all the cash from my wallet, and then threw it into the moat like venting... I hated these banknotes made of desire in a crazy tear. It has never brought me anything... With it, without it, I live like a dog, running, but I don't know that there is a road under my feet that has no end to rest...

I was even more crazy... I broke all the bank cards representing wealth in anger and used the most extreme way... Finally, I sat on the guardrail and panted, closed my eyes, and cried...

At this moment, I even abandoned myself. Because of my crazy actions just now, my right to find a hotel in this city was deprived of my right to rest... I was so poor that I was left with this soulless body. Even if I was frozen to death, no one would give me some mercy!
Chapter completed!