Since saying goodbye to Le Yao last night, I had a conversation with two women, one was Xiaojun, who was bystander, and the other was Mi Cai, the person involved in my love life. They all talked about my lack of security.

I don’t have to deny it, but I spent some time finding the reason. If Mi Cai and I did not end up cultivating this relationship to the right end, then which woman would I fall in love with with my weak body?

My emotional life will ruthlessly retreat to the most absurd years I have experienced, but no woman named Le Yao is with me, and no woman named Mi Cai will save me.

It turns out that all this fear comes from my powerlessness in love. After experiencing a cycle of reincarnation, my age will not retreat to the starting point. At that time, I was 28 years old, maybe 29, or even older, how could I stand in this life distance and face the regret that I can no longer expect from love. In my opinion, these separations of life are far more painful than death... Death separation is at least accompanied by the extinction of the heart, while separation is a heart that cannot be destroyed, rolling around in pain in the scorching fire.

I would not tell Mi Cai about the reason for the lack of security that I realized. In the end, I just pressed the three words "I love you" on my phone and sent it to her as a reason. Then I fell into a depressed state again... I opened the curtains and threw my eyes on the wet road dyed with dew.

......

I spent the whole day in the cold sunshine in the late November, and the documents I had processed were already piled up with the corners of the table. Such busy work was due to the fact that every shop on the road to literature and art will hold intensive activities near Christmas, and the funds and content of these activities need to be approved.

After stretching my body, I finally lit the first cigarette of today for myself before getting off work, emptied myself, leaned back on the office chair, looking at the dead leaves floating outside the window and the crowd of people in a hurry, the empty heart filled with loneliness of thinking about being alone, but Mi Cai, who is in a foreign country, may still be sleeping... I really hope that I can drive a sail into her dream.

Thinking of this, I finally smiled, put out the cigarette butts in my hand, picked up my briefcase and walked out of the company. I wanted to go to the "empty city" to sit. Maybe if I have good luck, I always thought that her singing could make people forget many troubles in the world.

I didn't drive myself this evening, and took the bus for the first time. I felt that when I stood in the crowded and shaking car, I was sociable.

After waiting in the crowd for a long time, a bus came shakingly. I put my briefcase on my head and occupied a favorable position. I quickly squeezed into the car before a group of people. After breathing a sigh of relief, I realized that my ability to hang out in the market was still there, and I couldn't help but feel better again. I followed the carriage radio and hummed a song I had never heard before.

At this time, the child held by a young woman might have grabbed the young woman's hair and cried bitterly because the carriage was too dull and crowded. While crying, she looked at the world outside the car window, and the crying was filled with the desire to escape.

The young woman was very afraid of the crying of the child, so she intimidated: "Meow Meow, if you cry again, Moma will sell you... Be a good child, don't cry!"

The child seemed to have become accustomed to such intimidation and did not take it seriously at all. Instead, he cried even louder. The young woman looked at the passengers in the carriage at a loss, feeling sorry for the child's growing cry.

I squeezed out the crowd and came to her side, and asked her with a serious smile: "Sister, how did you sell your child?"

The carriage suddenly became silent, and the child's crying stopped abruptly, looking at me with tears... After a long time, the crowd in the carriage laughed kindly, and I also retreated to my original position with the laughter, and then through the gaps of the crowd, looking at the rows of street lights that lit up in the same posture outside the car window, in this city like a pier, looking for a boat docked for me.

......

After coming to the "Empty City" restaurant, I looked around habitually, but except for the strange customers, a strange resident singer, or anyone among Robben, Le Yao, maybe she was already with her fiancé at this time, but I was a little curious about what kind of man this woman who had countless interactions with me would marry in this life.

After ordering a beer, I called Robben, and I didn't want to drink alone on this empty and cold night.

After a while, Robben came to the restaurant. Even though he is now a well-known folk singer in the music circle, when my friend needs to find a drinker, he will put down what he has done and arrive as soon as possible. This is the friendship accumulated over the years. This friendship makes me feel that I have a place to stop in this big and somewhat empty city.

I asked Robben for a beer, and the two of them started drinking under the warm air blowing from the air conditioner. After putting down the glass, he asked me: "Does the big guy tell you that she is going to Beijing to get married?"

I nodded, picked up the cup and took another sip, but this sip was a bit big, so the coldness irritated my forehead with a burst of pain.

Robben said again: "Oh, this is another fucking sad scene... The big guy must have cried very badly yesterday, right?"

I didn't say anything and still nodded. In fact, Le Yao, who had not only cried miserably on the tall building last night, but even the soul hidden in her body was broken. Otherwise, how could she slap me and herself so heavily... Suddenly, I remembered the child who disappeared during the abortion again, and my heart hurt again, because it was my child.

Robben didn't say anything, lit a red plum cigarette and looked at the female singer singing folk songs on the stage.

I finally asked him, "Did Le Yao tell you who her marriage partner is?"

"Her marriage partner?...must be very rich, very handsome, and has a unique family background!...Average people really can't get to know Le Yao!"

"Who is it?"

"The famous young master in the capital, Cao Jinfei."

I shook my head and said I had never heard of such a person.

Robben took a puff of cigarette and said, "It's normal that you haven't heard of it. After all, it's not a public figure. Unless it's a person in the circle, it's not accessible to ordinary people."

I also wanted to learn more about Cao Jinfei, but in the end I couldn't ask. After all, they and Le Yao are a good couple. I asked too much, which seemed like I was trying to do it.
Chapter completed!