It was getting late at night and I woke up from the wine. I pulled the zipper of my jacket, lit a cigarette, walked on the streets in a daze, but what I was thinking about in my mind was the endless trivialities. I suddenly felt a little tired of my current life. I wanted to do something for my life, but I didn’t know where to start, so I became even more confused.

Passing by a hotel, looking at the lights scattered from dozens of windows, it seemed like I could peek at pairs of bodies rising and falling on the bed, so that the entire hotel was shaking. On this night, some people enjoy the ecstasy of the night in a warm room, and some people walked on the streets like withering, enduring the loneliness of the night.

But it is precisely because of this contrast that the world appears so three-dimensional and real. I should understand that this world is originally a complex contradiction, and loneliness and loss must be endorsed, so I don’t have to feel wronged or complain.

But the moonlight tonight is so beautiful, and the loneliness shines with nowhere to escape, so please ask the immortals in the sky to turn off the power of the moon. I am willing to bear loneliness, but it does not mean that I am willing to expose loneliness to this red world!

...

When I returned to my residence, I stood downstairs and looked at it. I didn't see Mi Cai's car. I went around to the opposite side of the building and looked at it. The car was there, and Mi Cai seemed to be used to parking the car here.

I squatted beside the car and smoked another cigarette and returned to the upper floor. Then I stood at the door of Mi Cai's room for a while before knocking on her door.

"Mi Cai, are you asleep?" I asked in a low voice.

"What's up?"

"I want to talk to you."

Mi Cai replied to me as expected: "There is nothing to talk about between us."

"At least I'll say thank you in person for the matter tonight. Thank you so much!"

"No need." Mi Cai still rejected me with three words.

"I'm sorry if I don't want it!" I said that without Mi Cai's consent, I opened her door in the name of thanks.

The lights in the room were still on, and Mi Cai sat at her desk looking at books, materials, documents, etc.

Mi Cai seemed to have become accustomed to my rudeness and did not react to the behavior of entering the room without permission.

I came behind her, glanced at her and asked, "What are you looking at?"

Mi Cai ignored me and was still paying attention to the documents he was reading.

I just stood up like this, but I was thinking about how to tell Mi Cai that I planned to continue living here.

"Do you think it's appropriate to stand in a woman's room late at night?" Mi Cai asked me coldly.

"I just want to say thank you, it's nothing else." I said hurriedly.

"Then you say it, hurry up and go out after you say it."

"Oh..." I responded and asked in a pleasing manner, "By the way, have you taken medicine tonight? I heard you were coughing just now."

Mi Cai closed the document and frowned at me, saying, "If you have something to say, I'm ready to rest."

"This is what you asked me to say. I said, don't turn against me." I said quickly.

"Then stop talking."

"That won't work. If you want me to say something, I will say it..." After brewing for a while, I finally said, "That... I told you the truth, I don't want to move out at all!" After saying that, he subconsciously stood up straight, trying to suppress Mi Cai with his mighty aura, and asked her to agree to my request not to move out.

Mi Cai looked at me and said calmly: "I said you can not pay back the money I owe for the time being, so you have no reason not to move out."

"I said I didn't want to move out at all. Don't you understand what I mean?" I raised my tone and said.

"But you promised me to move out more than once. Is your promise so cheap in my eyes?" Mi Cai said coldly, but his eyes were filled with anger.

"What's wrong with letting me live here?" I was also angry. While Mi Cai didn't understand me, I didn't understand her. There were more people sharing the rent in this city. Why did I rely so much on this room, but she drove me away again and again? Besides, I felt that my character in sharing the living was still very strong and a very safe sharing the living.

Mi Cai asked back: "Tell me where is the best place."

"Everywhere is good!" After thinking about it, I said again: "I live here. If there is a neighborhood dispute in the future, I can easily help you with it. Let me tell you: I am the boss of this community..."

"Don't be so naive, okay?" Mi Cai interrupted me.

I sneered: "You don't believe it, right?...You can go to other communities to see if there are square dancers disturbing the public every night. Do you find that there is a community where we live?...Isn't there? Let me tell you: Although there is no property management in this community, I am much better than that property management or something."

"Even if what you said is true, it cannot be a reason for you to continue living here. You must move out." Mi Cai still said to me firmly.

I was angry again: "Are you lack careless? What's wrong with you letting me live here? At least the water pipe is blocked and the light is broken. I can repair it. It will rain or something. If you are not at home, I will help collect my clothes. For example, today, if you are sick, I can't stand by death and refuse to save you. I have to buy medicine for you and cook a bowl of ginger soup... Why do you have to be so mean that both of you are unhappy?"

"I'm not unhappy."

Mi Cai choked me with one sentence, and was silent for a long time before saying, "Anyway, I don't want to move. I owe you so much money. I think paying you back first is more important than moving."

Mi Cai asked unexpectedly: "Tell me why paying back the money first is more important than moving?"

I said without thinking: "I feel at ease when I pay back your money, but moving makes me feel helpless and empty. If it were you, would you choose to pay back the money first or move first?"

"You can also live in other places when you move out from here. Where can you start with emptiness and helplessness?" Mi Cai continued to ask.

I looked around the room and felt an unspeakable emotion in my heart. Mi Cai didn't understand my feelings and longing for this house at all, so every time she drove me away, she wouldn't consider my feelings. But then again, she didn't need to consider it. No matter how deep the longing was, it was only my own.

I lit a cigarette to relieve the loss and helplessness in my heart.

"Don't smoke in my room, okay?"

Mi Cai's words were filled with disgust, but she couldn't blame her. It was because I was too presumptuous that I ignored the fact that I was still in her room at this moment.

"Sorry, I'll go to the balcony to smoke." I whispered.

...

After smoking a cigarette on the balcony, I returned to the living room, but to my surprise, Micai did not stay in her bedroom at this moment, but sat on the sofa in the living room.

She spoke to me for the first time: "You haven't answered my question just now."

"You just asked me why I feel empty and helpless when I move out, right?"

Micai nodded.

I sat down on the sofa opposite Micai, closed my eyes, and the countless days and nights I lived here appeared in my mind like fragments.

After a long silence, I finally spoke, "I moved in two years ago. The days I just moved here were the darkest days in my life. I have insomnia almost every night... The reason for insomnia is because I have a lot of thoughts, but these thoughts cannot be told to anyone, but I feel uncomfortable in my heart. So I regard the floor lamp, cabinet, wall clock, and even a mop in the house as my friends, and these things are my friends.

The thoughts that cannot be told to people are that although they never respond to me, they are very patient. No matter how long I say it, they are very patient, so after I don’t vomit, I don’t feel that bad anymore. I am very grateful to them, thanking them for everything in this room. They are my support and my friends, so I don’t want to leave. I love this room. Although it is very simple, it is the safest and warmest place in my world...!!”

After I finished speaking, Mi Cai looked at me with a very complicated look, but I didn't know what this complicated meant at all. She just waited nervously for her to let me continue to live here.

---------------------

Flowers, collections, sign-in, don't forget.
Chapter completed!