I loved her for those years

Qiao Zhantian

I am Qiao Zhantian, born in Qiaojiashan Village and grew up in Qiaojiashan Village. In those years when I was born, I happened to be popular. I was young and ignorant. When I became sensible, I suddenly realized that I had no father.

My mother has been very nice to me since she was a child. Children are sensitive, especially children from single-parent families. They know who is kind and who is malicious. My mother looks at me very lovingly, although she often chases me and beats me.

I am also naughty. Although I am sensible, if I am not naughty, I am the only one who is bullied. Children from single-parent families are always more likely to be bullied.

Chuyang, like me, seems to be even worse than me, because she doesn’t have a mother, but everyone treats her very well. She was very cute when she was a child, whiter than other girls, with bigger eyes and soft hair. I like to touch her head. At first, she always protested, but later, she just let me go. Her hair was really soft.

That summer, after Chuyang fell from the tree, it became different. She changed her surname and even took the initiative to ask for school. There were other differences. She couldn't figure out what it was at the beginning, but now she remembered it again.

She started to go to school that year and had good grades. Not only did the teachers in the class call her a role model, but the other teachers were also because the principal liked her very much.

Chuyang is sensible, polite and smart, and looks cute and beautiful than other girls. In my opinion, she is simply a little angel, although at that time, I didn’t know what an angel was.

Chuyang also urged me to study. In order to coax me to study, I coerce and induce me to buy candy and comic strips, I ignored me and complained. In fact, she didn't have to think of so many ways, and I would be willing to listen to her words. But, seeing her angry look, it was really cute. Now I think about it, I just like to see her care about me.

Gradually, my grades caught up. We went to junior high school together. I made an appointment with her. We took the high school together, then took the college entrance exam, and then maybe, at that time, I could tell the secrets in my heart.

However, after the third year of junior high school entrance examination, she quietly filled out the medical school. I took the admission letter, but I was not happy at all, but was full of anger. Yes, I was angry. I felt that she betrayed our agreement. I hated her and scolded her fiercely, calling her a weak person and a deserter. I thought she didn't want to take the college entrance examination, but just wanted to live a stable life.

She let me scold her, without saying anything, and looked lightly, as if there were endless words to say to me, but she didn't say it, just said: "I think it's safe to go to a medical school. You are a boy. It's much more useful to me when I go to college."

We went our separate ways to our own schools. I was studying books in high school. She dealt with herbs and guitars in the health school. Perhaps, from this time on, we were separated, and my already faint hope was extinguished.

We often meet from the first year of high school to the third year of high school, but we are not as much as before. After all, we are too big and we cannot gossip.

When I was in my senior year of high school, I felt unprecedented pressure. Everyone was like crazy beasts, studying desperately. Some classmates around me only slept for two hours a day, and the rest of the time was spent studying. Although I thought, I couldn't do it.

At this moment, I suddenly heard that Chuyang was kissing me. My heart seemed to be hit hard by something, and I was so depressed that I almost fainted. Thinking that Chuyang belonged to someone else, I wanted to yell and cry. I couldn't help asking her, but she said no, and I immediately came back to life.

In this way, she could easily decide my life and death.

I don't know when such love is like a bone-to-bone poison.

Chuyang once said that I was smart, but I felt that it was not enough. In the second semester of my senior year, I made a difficult decision. I stopped going to college and wanted to go out for a walk by myself.

In the eyes of others, this idea is very crazy. College students are so good. They are superior to others and are very relaxed. But when you go out and explore, what will happen? Everyone around you opposes it. Only Chuyang said: "If you think about it, go and do it. Remember to bear the consequences yourself."

I suddenly had the courage. Maybe I would have the chance to stand by her when I went out and had a try. For her, I had to do that.

During the summer vacation, the time she came to see me strengthened my determination.

I sent her back, and saw the man at the door, and saw them holding hands naturally, the feeling of heart dying came again.

The man looked at me alertly. As a homosexual, he saw through my thoughts at first glance.

Chuyang went in, the man looked at me and said, "You like Chuyang."

I felt depressed, and the blood in my body was flowing backwards. This world is no longer the original world. When I heard his words, I couldn't help but say, "It's not like it, it's love."

The man laughed and said, "Why do you love her?"

I was hit again, yes, why should I love her

I don’t have money, so it’s impossible to get into college. I still have to support my mother. The man in front of me looks extraordinary at first glance. For the first time, I feel that my insignificance is really low in the dust.

"Then you treat her well" I could hardly hear my voice, but the man said, "Don't worry, I will treat her well for the rest of my life."

I turned around and left, at a loss, and nothing I expected was realized. I was ambitious to go to the same university with Chuyang. I wanted to use the red admission letter to tell Chuyang what I like. I was thinking just now that I wanted to make a lot of money and marry her, but none of them succeeded.

When I got home, I was in a state of dismay and scared my mother. For a whole week, I was stuck at home. My mother was afraid that something would happen to me and compromised and promised me to let me go out for a walk. I looked at my mother, with her messy hair and wrinkles on her face, and suddenly I felt like I was a failure.

Leaving and going out for a stroll should be the best choice. Leaving here, burying your worries will turn into a jar of bitter wine and drinking it alone for the rest of your life.

Follow them to the city, and then follow Brother Guo and board the train going south. I suddenly felt relieved.

Goodbye Chuyang, if that man treats you badly, I am still there. If I meet you in my next life, I will definitely not wait any longer. I will definitely hold your hand tightly, even if I have nothing.

The author has something to say: When writing this article, the string song was moved, and I couldn't stop crying.

Life is a kind of suffering, but you can't get it, it's a kind of pain

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